One Taiwan Unit: Goodbye, Torsion!

Dear Torsion,

I cried all the way on my way to work this morning. I miss you a tons, but I am happy that you are off to your next journey. Running into you in May, 2005 in Wichita, KS was one of the best things happened in my life. You knew me the most and loved me unconditionally, and I couldn't ask for a better friend than you. What made me the most sad is - I didn't get to hold you when you passed away. The night before I was arguing with hubby for small things, we were both mad and went to bed. The last thing I remembered was seeing Grandpa giving you the medication.
I woke up, still mad, rushed out from the house to work and didn't say goodbye to you...and I really didn't get to see you again. I know you were not mad at me, you had never be mad at me, but it's so hard to forgive myself about that. I know you really gotta go, and you are happy that you are free and have no pain...I just wish I could see you again.

I went though a lot of our old photos, and I am glad we had a lot of good memories and funny photos. I looked back to these 12 years, how could I figure everything out without you?! You had taught me how to be strong when facing difficulties, and you were always there for me.
You saw me graduated from college.
You moved with me from KS to UT.
You saw me finished my Master's degree.
You saw me struggled finding a job.
You saw me finally got a teaching job.
You saw me landed the next job but they didn't have e-verify system at that time so I couldn't extended my visa.
You waited me for six months to come back to United States.
You saw me broke up with my ex.
You saw me only could afford to eat rice and soy sauce.
You saw me running around between classes and jobs.
You saw me fell in love again.
You saw hubby graduated from college.
You saw me got married.
You saw us got a real full time job for the first time.
You saw us got our first house.
You saw us improving our financial situation.
You saw me finished my second Master's degree.
You welcomed our first baby.
You saw hubby got into his dream job.
You moved with us from UT to CA.
You saw our stress level went up to the sky due to living in this tiny apartment.
You saw we fought...many many times.
You saw I cried for no reasons.
You saw our baby's first bday.
You saw hubby received his second BS degree.
You saw our baby's first walk, and you heard her calling your name. (She is looking for you these days, and I told her you had to travel to somewhere far far away).
You saw us couldn't be able to find a house that would fit all of us.
You saw I started to look for a job.
You saw we finally got a house and going to do little remodel before moving in next month.
You saw I got a job in CA.
You had waited for all these days, without a complaint, for us to turn around be better again...and you started to see the improvement and you knew we are going to be okay...and you knew your mission is completed.

What did we, especially me, do to deserve all your love and support? I know in my heart that I don't deserve you...but I am so glad, so glad that you chose me to be your friend.

I wish I could re-write the last chapter of our journey...and I wish you didn't see me acting out during these couple months. I always told you how much I love the ocean, and I would take you there one day. I am sorry that I didn't bring you to see the ocean right after we moved to CA. I wish you would be moving with us next month...I wish you saw the yard we promised you. I shouldn't take your love for granted! I've learned my lesson and you are no longer here.

Did you see my change these three days? I start going back to who I was before I moved to CA...I talk quieter, and I slow down a bit to see what I've been missing. And this morning, I made sure I said goodbye to everyone I saw before I left for work.

I love you forever. You stole a piece of my heart. I promise that I will take care of myself, hubby, meimei, grandpa, and grandma. Wherever you are at now, please do take care of yourself! Thank you so much for all you did for me. I did not rescue you from the shelter, in fact, you rescued me again and again. I owe you big!

Be good, Tortor! And I will too!